After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
