I'm gonna have a badass scar
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
