hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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