No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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