never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
This beer is not sobering me up at all
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
