Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
