wakey wakey hands off snakey
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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