We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
