Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
