we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
