Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
