Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize