ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
