ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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