dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
