i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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