His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
my poor anus
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
