Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize