How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
