How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
