he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
