Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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