this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
