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I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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