i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
So. Much. Porn.
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