if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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