Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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