we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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