Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
