A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
