I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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