Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
