You can't special order awesome
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
