Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
