I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We're too hungover to prance.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
