My nipple is on Facebook.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize