no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
