In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
