And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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