Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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