After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm getting married
To pizza
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
