I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
