what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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