You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
