he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
