You kept calling me your small dog last night.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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