My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
