turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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