2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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