we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize