i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
