Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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