Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
