I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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