She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
