I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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