Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
