Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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