I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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