Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
